. . . When it comes to this situation, I'm always faced with the voice in the back of my mind shouting, "things will never change!" Yet, in some other (very small and hidden) corner of my mind there's a quiet but confident voice reassuring me of the possibility that maybe, one day, things will change. The problem is I can not distinguish which is the voice of reason and which is the voice of fear. After writing about the same thing over and over, I'm seeing that I have been back-tracking for the greater part of my time spent on this conflict. In the absence of growth I've mastered the art of tuning out my feelings (the good, and the bad) and I've forgotten how to allow the experiences to show me what I'm supposed to find. Life isn't always a hunt for the best, or a race to the finish line. Sometimes it's just a game of Where's Waldo, the kind of game where you take the time to enjoy the ridiculousness in every inch of the page, the kind of game in which you embrace all the non-Waldos with contentment just to find that suddenly, boom . . . there's Waldo.
There's Waldo and suddenly you realize that the time you've spent searching has only shown you everything that Waldo is not, but not at all what exactly Waldo is, and a whole new search has begun.
